• Bodie English

Father’s Day has officially increased to 2 hours and 45 minutes!

In what may be one of the largest changes in the day’s history, the increase in time comes at a particularly great moment for dads as they look for public options for celebration now that the pandemic is largely waning. This new time allowance is nearly enough time for 2 separate celebratory activities of one were to be so ambitious.

We interviewed a few dads about what this means for them and here are a few of their replies:

Paul- “This is great news, I was able to use my lawnmower that I got for my birthday to make the yard look great for the father’s day lunch I’m going to cook on my new grill that I got for father’s day.”

Shane- “This was fantastic, I hadn’t heard of the changes, but my wife surprised me with a new watch that has GPS tracking for her to know where I am and it was preprogrammed with a countdown timer of 2 hours and 45 minutes. I said, “what’s this?” And she said, “That’s how much time you have before you need to be home….get your ass out there and go.” I didn’t have time to prepare so I just ran down the block to my buddy Jake’s house, but he was using his time to watch most of the movie Brave Heart. With no time to lose, I just started running to the local grocery store, I bought a six pack of beer and drank it behind the building while throwing rocks at a squirrel. I barely made it back in time, but I’ll say, that memory won’t fade.”

Kyle- “I celebrated by going to the gun range and using some of my stockpiled ammo. It felt weird and gluttonous at first, but I didn’t know what else to do and I just needed loud noises.

Robert- “I had always wanted to be a deep sea diver but never did, but I had this idea of putting a bucket over my head and having my son keep piling bricks on top to help me get it under water. It kinda worked but I forgot about the limited oxygen and I ended up passing out. I woke up on the pool-edge and my wife said I have to go back to only one hour next year.”

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