• Bodie English

Heat Complaints Rise As More People Immigrate To Texas From Lesser States

Updated: Jul 5, 2020

Social Media “Scientists,” as they call themselves, have recently applied an algorithm to social media sites that allows them to disaggregate data from user posts that enables them to make socio-economic evaluations. I guess this is what happens when Millennials start getting introspective.

To that end, I reached out to these….. scientists…… and asked what useful information they were able to unearth from the d

epths of “me”-centered social media posts. Mckinzie told me that data can be extrapolated to lead us to all sorts of information but that her algorithm was still ongoing. “At this point”, she said, “I have noticed a correlation in Texas Residency among unique users, and the proliferation in posts about how hot it is.” At first, I did not understand all this jargon- (scientific language) because I thought the majority of posts were whiny no matter what. That Texas had more whining sounded disheartening to me. At this point, I took out my notebook and started taking this more seriously.

Mckinzie showed me a graph on her Ipad that showed an upward positive trend on the X-axis (which is the Independent value/ usually time) and that blue line represented users that changed their residency from one of the other states to the great state of Texas over an 8 year time frame. The Y-axis (the vertical Line/ Dependent value) indicated the number of people.

I said, “That’s great Mckinzie, I totally know all that! People have been moving to Texas for a long time;” but she had a surprise in store for me; she pushed one of those invisible Apple buttons that revealed a second yellow line that seemed to match the blue line. “This line,” she said, “is the number of social media posts that was complaining about the heat in Texas over the SAME TIMELINE!”

It was mesmerizing, I was finally seeing what she was trying to tell me…..that all these Californians and New Yorkers were responsible for most of the whining about the heat. I had been curious about this nebulous issue opening up my Facebook and Instagram feeds and seeing all these posts complaining that it’s hot outside…...YEAH….., IT’S JULY! Was there something odd about that?

Perhaps most concerning though, was that I had inadvertently become friends with people from New York and California. I resolved to come to terms with these new Texans and to remember our sacred oath to be welcoming and hospitable.

My next social media post would be, “Welcome to Texas, It’s hot, we know, we have beer for that, now put on your short shorts, grab a beer, and learn to suffer like the best of us.”

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